I would have pushed that SOBs car on it's side faster than he could blink an eye. Or, if I was in a nice mood I would call a buddy with a shitty car and back his car in next to it barely away from the mirror and I would pull in barely away from the mirror on the other side and just sit in the parking lot and wait for him to get out and record his reaction
1) Take picture as above
2) Find 1-2 large lifted pick up trucks (preferably 3/4 ton or larger)
3) Find 1 car of medium to large size or small minivan/crossover
4) Find 2 or 3 strong men
5) Relocate clown car to a position parallel to curb and less than 1" from said curb
6) Park car or minivan creature thing in same spot as smart car and less than 1 foot from driver's door
7) Park 2 large pick up trucks in adjacent spots if open or fill in gaps
8) Take picture of post rearranging
9) Sit back, wait, enjoy